Marriage Coaching – Real Help for Today’s Real Life
Marriage coaching is on the rebound with some extraordinary training from Debbie Stankovich, MCLC, who addresses this topic with a biblical foundation and real help to meet the challenges of today's world, today's marriages and even re-marriages. She includes great tips, how to learn more and even get certified! (If this topic calls to you, at the bottom you can get a free, one-hour training for a limited time.)
Last week I had the pleasure and honor to partner in live training with Debbie. She is one of the most distinguished and brilliant Christian coaches today, not to mention a great friend. Her specialty is working with families that have formed from the ashes of a life event.
It is an outdated presumption that all marriages are first marriages. We know that is not true. There are many types of events that happen over our lifetime that create new iterations of families. Sometimes it is divorce, adoption, death or something else but what they have in common is that at least one party to this relationship is there because of a loss of some type. In today's article Debbie addresses the marriage itself.
Please don't think this applies to others but not you. If somewhere in your family, there is a re-marriage, you are touched by blended or step-family dynamics. If someone you are coaching is affected by re-marriage or step-family issues, you need to keep reading.
There Is No Such Thing As A Step-Marriage
Sometimes God speaks clearly to us by what He does not say.
“…a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife;
and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (NASB)
Noticeably absent from this text are exclusions such as:
· unless of course, one or more of the partners has been married before . . .
· but that only applies if your parents approve of your choice . . .
· only if children from previous marriages are in complete agreement with you getting married . . .
Whether it is a first or fifth marriage for one or both partners, oneness in Christ is still the goal.
The marriage relationship is not a step-relationship. It is up to the couple to do everything they can to nurture this union created and ordained by God.
Marriage is an intimate relationship on many levels – emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And it is the couple’s willingness and intentionality to seek intimacy with God that will help them avoid becoming another divorce statistic.
Unfortunately, many couples are far more comfortable talking frankly about emotional and physical intimacy than they are talking about their relationship with God. That makes the role of the Christian coach extremely significant, and that is why the “Nurturing Marriage in the Mosaic Family” module of the Mosaic Family Coach Training Program is so important.
The session provides a biblical basis for cultivating a healthy marriage and provides participants with numerous resources to assist those couples committed to making theirs a model for marriage that would make Jesus smile. One of the topics covered in depth is building spiritual intimacy in marriage.
Every Christian couple should strive to build a spiritual house on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. There simply is no other way to withstand the storms and currents that attack and undermine this sacred union. In the Mosaic Family Coach Training program, the following spiritual disciplines are suggested for couples who want to make a relationship with Christ core and central to their marriage.
1. Prayer – encourage clients to commit to a regular prayer life, individually and as a couple
2. Bible Study – encourage clients to study God’s word, individually and as a couple
3. Worship – encourage clients to commit to regular corporate and personal worship
4. Giving – encourage clients to faithfully return a portion of what God has entrusted to them
5. Fellowship – encourage clients to live and experience life with like-minded couples
6. Service – encourage clients to serve others outside the family unit
7. Witness – encourage clients to share their faith openly
It is one thing to know “what” to do. Knowing “how” to accomplish a goal is a little more complex. While the course does provide specific strategies to help clients achieve the goals of the seven spiritual disciplines, competent coaches know one important fact: The solutions clients identify on their own while working with a coach are the solutions most likely to work for them.
Helping couples grow together in Christ has to be one of the most honorable and gratifying things God asks coaches to do. And growth, by the way, is a slow but steady process.
Ask clients to focus exclusively on just one of the disciplines listed. Once they decide on how they will approach that area, the goal is consistency (i.e. 15 minutes per day for five consecutive days for four consecutive weeks) before adding another area on which to focus.
So, you see, growing together in Christ is a long-term and life-long commitment. People who make lasting change seek out competent coaches to help them do just that. Is God calling you to be one of them?
We would love to hear from you. If you heard the live training, what thoughts did it inspire for you? What did you learn? Please post any comments or questions in the comments section below. We would love your feedback as well as any insights you have. Let's talk!
© 2016 Debbie Stankovich, MCLC
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Debbie Stankovich, MCLC
Debbie Stankovich, MCLC is a Master Certified Christian Life Coach and coach trainer at PCCCA. She is the author and creator of the Mosaic Family Coach training program curriculum. To learn more about Debbie, visit: http://lightmypath.org.